Set Apart

Some days I struggle that I’m different. Call me what you will, a nerd, a geek, a people pleaser, a loser, fat, too nice, too good to be true, a retard, or even fouler names that aren’t worth mentioning here, I’m just different…and I’m okay with that.

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post about crying in the car because my heart ached.  I felt as if I wasn’t worth being known and I was hurt by rejection and cruel words by even those who call themselves Christians. I’m different, I always have been. And then I mentioned “The Game” and how I don’t play it because I can’t. There’s something in me (or Someone perhaps?) that nullifies my ability to play “social games” and catch their queues.  I’m a part of a Facebook community called A Modern Day Ruth:

http://ruthwaits4boaz.blogspot.com/

I relate to Jenny in many ways. She posts things on her many ministries (Ruby Wives, A Modern Day Boaz, etc) that God uses to speak to me as well as things from other places. Being patient and set apart for God’s uses is a process. He has used her to reach out to men and women, married and divorced, helped to heal broken hearts and comforts those who are waiting on God’s best. Being set apart means having some patience as well. Sometimes we are called to wait. For some it’s only a short time. For others it’s a longer period of time.

I have been hurt. But I have no bitterness in my heart. I am no longer a victim because God has redeemed me. I have no hate in my heart, I can’t allow it there or it will consume me, just as it has consumed the world. I am no longer controlled. God has opened up my eyes so that I may see the controlling actions of others. Even those who are close to me, I can see it and so because I have a heavenly Father who wants to take care of my EVERY need, I pass those notes along to him.

Being Set Apart means living VASTLY different from the world. Here are some verses addressing that:

Romans 12:2: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Proverbs 1:15: My son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths,
1 Peter 2:9: But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
Philippians 2:15: That you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,
Matthew 7:13: “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.
Deuteronomy 7:6: “For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.
Proverbs 14:12: There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
1 Samuel 16:7: But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Psalm 4:3: But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.
1 Peter 1:14-16: As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”
Revelation 18:4: Then I heard another voice from heaven say: “‘Come out of her, my people,’ so that you will not share in her sins, so that you will not receive any of her plagues;

Being Set Apart is a condition of the heart. Something that leaks through and shines on the outside. It’s not an easy road. The enemy attacks from every corner, tries to steal your joy. Keep turning back to the Lord even when it is dark and you cannot see. The Bible says the Word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path and so we immerse ourselves in it so our light shines brighter and through our light others around us, also in darkness can see clearly. The more clearly they can see Jesus through you, the more they realize that they need their own lamp so that they can light their own way. And so it spreads. Be set apart. Be different. Yes it’s harder. Yes being different can be lonely, even among those who also claim to be different. But still choose to be different because you were made different.

Choose to embrace your difference and be a light.

~Amanda

What’s with the month of May?

So many things I have forgotten over the years. God has been good to me, but especially lately when he has brought to mind or helped me find things I thought lost. I have tried to keep a count of how many dreams I have had, and I’m realizing I can’t because I have had some that have been hidden from me and revealed at the time I need it.

Today I needed something important and God reminded me that I had what I needed. So in my quest to find it, I came across a journal entry from when I was 6 months pregnant with my son. It is dated 5/12/10.

Isaiah 65:24

Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.

Two years from this dream I prayed the prayers in my last post. So two days after my birthday this is the dream God blessed me with:

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamed that I was getting married again. I was in the process of getting dressed for the event which was being held in a brand new Roman Coliseum that had very plush side rooms but were decorated very 17th century Gothic style. There was a wedding dress (the wedding dress I was originally married in) hanging in the room. There were three woman with me dressed in bright white dresses of Roman design. One of the girls that was there was a teachers assistant for a class I was taking in my dream. She was interviewing/grading me. The two other ladies help me get dressed and so I’ve gotten nothing on but the see through mesh underskirt. So I’m walked out unexpectedly being led by one woman, and the other had her hands on the small of my back to keep me moving forward as the Teachers Assistant tried to talk with me as we walked. I was led all the way to the other side of this Colosseum with thousands of people watching, many cheering me on.

3cfba6ec-751c-40ee-ac52-fccc669cb7bc_00fbd248_image

I’m naked on top, doing my best to cover my breasts with my hands (unsuccessfully) as we walk across the center of the arena, through the sand to the other side. They lead me along and about half way across I get scared and pull my arm back. The leading woman turned and looked at me, reached out and put her hand on my wrist and continued to lead me across, as I’m still trying to cover myself with the other hand, struggling between complete exposure and trying to cover up, to a new room on the other side. In the room on this side is a wedding dress even better and vastly more beautiful (It seemed WAY larger…not in size for fit, but just more dress, more train and just more elegance altogether) than my original. After the wedding I was presented with a certificate saying I passed the class. In the next scene I am standing next to my new husband in a small apartment with really nice furniture surveying our gifts which are wrapped in a silver paper and blue ribbons. I open this amazing Mac Book and show it off and said “isn’t this awesome! You have always wanted one of these!”

The context of the dream is important and I feel as if it is someone yet known to me. Someone who would appreciate a gift like a Mac Book…

The nakedness and walking through the Colosseum is a journey I would take where I would be very exposed for many to see but the journey would be for my betterment. I was walking away from a wedding dress for one that was far more beautiful. White stands for righteousness and it was white.

I need to pray and ponder this more. It feels very straightforward to me. Like I do know what it means and the intricate details don’t matter in this one like they did on my last big one. I had one other dream a few weeks ago…not sure if I posted it. The timing in finding this dream is no coincidence. I asked God what would happen in my life after the one dream I am walking through now and I know this is it.

Blessings,

Amanda