The Key to my Heart; An open letter to my future Boaz

God has been having me pray lately.

Well…he has me pray all the time but more specifically prayer for the man He has for me in future time. He’s been on my heart this morning cue of God. And I’m sitting here…

There’s a key. An old intricate key…old fashioned in nature, worn yet beautiful that unlocks the lock on my heart. God has that key and he has given it to someone in my future to unlock me. I have some stirrings on my heart this morning. My being, who I am is so wrapped up in music, sound and beat…

I want to sing. Duet with me passionately for the Lord, will you sing with me?
Play for me, sing to me with your hands, let me hear you with the ears of my heart. I want a piano man. I asked God for that back when I was 17…Lord, bring me a man who can play the piano. One day I will have a Baby Grand and I will lay my head on top of it and listen to the music of your heart.
I want to read. Read with me, curl me up in your arms and read to me the heart of our God, whisper to me how much he loves me. Uncover with me great and unsearchable things.
I want to go. I want to go with you wherever God asks you to set your feet and gives you work to do, I want to be there doing it too. I want to be the help-meet that God has made me to be.
I want to dream with you. I want to be one with you in dreaming the thoughts of God, that we can see and know and understand these things together and that together we can ebb and flow the heart of God in this lost world. With unity may God prophesy into the lives of others through us, so that together we may grow God’s kingdom and be fruitful with our gifts.
I want you to play with me. I want laughter to be the center of our relationship where it too becomes the music of our home.
I want to dance with you. When you’re mad at me, dance with me. Let’s come together and be reminded why we were brought together in the first place. To be united as one with God.  Dance with me in the rain. Rain is the music of the earth.
I’m an old soul, understand that my heart does not lie in this place, this present time, but in a place with old fashioned values, a place where a woman understands her role but is cherished with Love and Respect and is not objectified. I am not a prize to be won, but a treasure to be kept and cared for. So are you Dear One.

I want to cook for you. Tell me the desires of your stomach and I will make it for you.
I want to serve you. The way a Godly wife serves a husband. (See Proverbs 31)

I not only pray for you, but I pray for me too. That God would make me and keep me ready. I asked him Lord, am I “good enough” and he said, “You are precious and beautiful, and yes you are.”

So when you come along, I am ready. I am diving into what the Lord has called me to do, fear and all and so when you come I will be past my fears. I will be headlong into my Savior, serving Him with all that I am. I am seeking Him and I have found Him and he leads me beside still waters where I am taken care of by Him. I have been sent to help you, just as Eve was created for Adam, I was created for you. We will be an unstoppable duo ready to tackle God’s assignment for our lives in these last days. I wait for you. The enemy has already tried to come and steal my purity and I have fought him off. He has dangled sparkly things in my path in hopes that I would wander from the course, he has even set wolves at my heels in hopes of driving me from my path…but I kicked them to the side to keep a pure heart and body, as their counsel was un-Godly at best.

Dear one, understand that I have a past. It was painful back then…when my heart was leaning on my own understanding. The healing I’ve undergone in 5 years, despite the fact that I was healing in the thick of it had been slow and gradual. I was controlled and abused, I was torn down. I am not a victim, but a survivor. I surrendered my anger, my resentment and my want to feel justified or vindicated to a Holy God and in turn he has given me Forgiveness. He has granted me Freedom. Freedom to worship Him. Everything I have gone through has helped to prepare me for this moment in life as I work to reach the high calling God has placed on my life. God kept my heart close to His (my children as well) and protected it as he strengthened me. We were a team,  a covert operation sitting undercover until the signal was given. RUN MY PRECIOUS…so I ran. A switch was flipped that day. God had packaged who I was, up in a little box and saved my heart from damage and heartache. He gave me a modus operandi and I was that role, I lived it I breathed it and I secretly read my Bible in the dark of the night. I secretly prayed and learned to cherish God and the dreams he gave me. It was a privilege to be in His company. I recall very little of that time in my life outside of my time with God. My memory had failed me but I’ve realized it hadn’t…it was God protecting me from the lies that were being showered over me. Blocks of time are gone from my memory banks, all I have to remember are the holes in the walls.  And those too, I have repaired.

I have 2 beautiful children that require a LOT of love and patience, and I will likely have some quirks about me that you may not understand at first. And then there’s the other quirks that everyone has like leaving the cupboard doors open that I will just need your grace with. My name means worthy of Love and I try to be that every day of my life, though some days I’m not successful. I do require moments alone in my life. Those times where I can just go brain dead and do something that doesn’t require me to think. I’m in no way perfect, as I suspect neither are you. You might miss the toilet bowl often, you might forget anniversaries and birthdays, you might be a picky eater. That’s okay. We were meant to be fulfilled by God, not each other.

God knows I need my future Boaz to match me. To have passion, creativity, to share in the same spiritual gifts as me. I need to be able to wake up in the middle of the night, shake you awake and share what the Lord has shown me and vice versa. To get on your knees with me and pray over the hearts of the people, to also be an intercessor when called. To be the Gatekeeper he has called me to be, I need him to stand watch with me. He must stand guard with me on the opposite side of the gate and help guard the sheep until the Shepherd arrives.

I have known, Dear One, that before my divorce was fully over that I would meet you. I have 35 more days…I wonder who you are.

Benedizioni,

~Amanda

Great and Unsearchable things…

Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

The more you read the Bible, the more alive it becomes. The more epiphanies you have…The more you see things and hear things…yep, you heard me right.

I was reading Mark 3:17 where Jesus gives the nickname Boanerges to James and John Zebedee. The Son’s of Thunder. It was a nickname, a term of endearment and most people attribute it to their strong personalities and hot tongues…But the Lord showed me something else that is not seen or read in the Bible. I recall my son being about a month or two old. He was sleeping in his car seat (colic) next to a bed in another room and I laid there and read my Bible.
Mark 3:
13 Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. 14 He appointed twelve[a] that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach 15 and to have authority to drive out demons. 16 These are the twelve he appointed: Simon (to whom he gave the name Peter), 17 James son of Zebedee and his brother John (to them he gave the name Boanerges, which means “sons of thunder”), 18 Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealot 19 and Judas Iscariot, who betrayed him.

In that moment as I read I had a vision. A vision of the 12 plus Jesus walking and in a pure brotherly fashion, the older (James) jumped on the back of the younger (John) unexpectedly and grabbed his head around the forehead with his right arm and hung around his chest with his left…they were horse-playing…and I felt Jesus’ laughter, the smile in his eyes and the chuckle in his heart as the rest of them chided them and pushed them as they clumsily ran into the others while they messed around.

Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

That is not something you can read. Anywhere.

I was laying in bed one night, reading and I read this:

Revelation 7:13-17
13 Then one of the elders asked me, “These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?”
14 I answered, “Sir, you know.”
And he said, “These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.15 Therefore,
“they are before the throne of God
 and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne
will shelter them with his presence.
16 ‘Never again will they hunger;
 never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat down on them,’[a]
 nor any scorching heat.
17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne
will be their shepherd;
‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’[b]
‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’[c]”

But what I heard and felt was something else entirely.

The elder asked him a question…a challenge question that he knew that Paul would know the answer to indefinitely. It was asked with a smirk, a smile on his face and Paul smiled back with JOY in his heart because he was seeing the FRUIT of his labor in the Lord!! It was an exchange that had a sarcastic and teasing tone to it, and so then for the record of the Book of Revelation that Paul would write, he expounded on the information that was silently exchanged between the two. These would be the people who were snatched from impending and eternal hell. They would suffer like he was suffering and some would (will) die, like he had died.

If you read the Bible more, the more connected you become to it because it’s alive. The Word is Jesus and Jesus is in our hearts. The more we read the more we’re absorbing Jesus, the more sensitive we become to the love that is embedded into the Bible, because the Bible is Love, because Love is Jesus. So today, this morning in fact, I got another special nugget.

A verse that God gave me a month or two (more like 2) ago.

Psalm 37:4  “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

And as I had this conversation with my mom and I was working out some things that have been placed on my heart and some other things that I’ve been going through and suddenly it hit me…this verse is a double sided verse.

God DOES give us the desires of our hearts!! He GIVES us the DESIRE in the first place and then helps us FULFILL that SAME desire!! He is growing us! Helping us to grow and reach a higher calling so we can fulfill our destiny in Him!

So something that I recalled reading in Angels on Assignment and then Pastor Ted Buck reiterated (out of the book) a few Sunday’s ago came flooding through my head. Pastor Ted told his dad (The original Pastor Buck) that he was afraid to pray “God’s will be done” because he was worried that God would make him go be a missionary and he didn’t want to be a missionary. Pastor Buck said to his son Ted that he shouldn’t worry…if it wasn’t already on his heart as a desire, it’s not something that God wanted him to do…and so he felt free to worship God and claim His will in his life. God places a desire on our hearts and it’s something we will WANT to do.

I have been having to take forced time off work. I was running out of time and had to take the bulk of it at once before the end of the quarter. 30 hours, unpaid…ouch. But I spent my time at the church, helping where I could. I encountered two little girls on the second day who asked me if I was a teacher there (there’s a school there). I told them I wasn’t and they asked if I was going to be and I said “Not unless it’s what God wants me to do,” and they scampered off back to class. As the week pressed on I found myself wanting to be there. I was working by myself in a room, with music on and I found I was longing to be there. When I had to leave, I wanted to go back. There’s been a few times since that I’ve just been minding my own business and I hear the word “ministry” and I believe it’s been laid on my heart that God is going to do some major shifting in my life. I believe God wants me to be in full time ministry.

I encountered something that made sense to me a while back. The Levite Priests were fed off of the tithe of the people. That 10% was what took care of the Gatekeepers of the Temple of the Living God…the Tabernacle. The article  is here:
http://www.harvestnet.org/articles/gatekeeper-intercessor.html

And I found it while researching the term “Gatekeeper” as I’d recognized the Lord had given me a “job title” in an event the day previous. The very last paragraph on the page says:
I am convinced that there are many such intercessors hidden everywhere. The Lord sees them and they are very precious to Him. To them, praying is a way of life. They find it difficult to believe that others do not feel the same way about praying as they do. Although these intercessors pray in their prayer closets, I do not believe they should go without being properly placed. I believe the time has come now for those prophetic intercessors to be recognized and take their rightful place in the end-time Church, just as they did in the Tabernacle of David. We need to respect them and support them so that they can do what God has called them to do. This does not mean expecting them to struggle to pray and serve while we do not take care of them. Yes, this ministry is a full time ministry just as the gatekeeper’s ministry was for the Tabernacle of David. When Nehemiah restored the “ordinance of David” in Jerusalem, the gatekeepers /porters were fed from the storerooms, so that they could spend all their time and energy to fulfill the task which was given to them. Selah! (Stand still and think about this….)

Things are shifting, and moving fast. We’re B-lining towards the end. Hang on tight my friends!

Blessings,

~Amanda

Music and Time (Poem)

I hear some words about food, and you are my food.
You are the air that I breathe, yes you are in me,
the song that I sing, sing with me.
In harmony, we know all the words and we carry the tune through our souls
That flows out of our lips onto ears that hear and the eyes that see
Father God your love for me
You dress me in righteousness and you crown me in praise, Father you sing out my name and you give me your name.

We sing in harmony, the ebb and the flow, I hear your music wherever I go
The beauty of sound and of rhythm and rhyme,
You sing to me sweetly all of the time
You speak to me words so soft and to hear
I must be silent in your presence, yes very near.
To shout of your Glory, Your Power, Your Grace
You sing to me quietly of your love of this place
This place in my heart that I helped you clean out
The closet of dust to high to account
Of antiques and artifacts from all those old wars
That you fought by my side forever ago
We cleared out that closet, that dust is now gone
And I sing of your Glory from now until dawn
Of every new day I spend in your presence
And of every sight that I see that shares in your essence

Of your Glory and Goodness and Strength and of Power
Lord I can’t live without you for over an hour.
A minute or two is even too much to take
I can’t walk away or even break
For a second without you near by my side
Is just sheer torture for this future bride.

Amanda Fransen 10/5/2015

This is happening more and more often. I used to write like this ages ago. The spiritual inspiration is returning and I can’t hold back words anymore. It feels good to dance with words again. The black and white mingling on the page, making our hearts cry and our eyes ache for more of Jesus.

Blessings,

Amanda

What’s Love got to do with it?

Everything.

It’s woven into the fabric of our being, our existence and the very God we serve is the epitome and creator of it.

Love is a verb, an action. An action that creates an action, that stirs feelings and characters to participate in a play called life, it’s the whole reason we reach for people and for babies and for each other.

A warm embrace. A first kiss. The coo and giggle of a baby. Tears over a loved one lost. Our heart strings play like a musical instrument through life, humming beautiful chords and plucking heartstrings and singing the heart song of Love. And as I sing it out, belt out at the top of my lungs the love song of my life, as I walk daily and act as love would act and I live my life with love, the God of the universe rejoices because he is living in me and through me He is displaying His being. Love in the NIV Bible is mentioned 319 times in the Old Testament and 232 in the New Testament. There’s an ENTIRE BOOK written about love. Song of Songs depicts two lovers, one of wealthy origins and a woman of working status and they connect and it’s such a beautiful book.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

Love can’t end, because God is Love.

1 Corinthians 16:14  Let all that you do be done in love.

John 13:34-35  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

1 John 4:8  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Colossians 3:14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Love has everything to do with everything. It’s what we were designed to do. Love covers over a multitude of sins, and hurts and is the greatest band-aid and healer we can give to another person. This is why Jealousy is a bad thing.

Jealousy says “You’re not allowed to love that person over there,” because we have a skewed vision of what love is. So many people think Love is sex, or love is possession or love is keeping you to myself so you can’t love another.

But 1 Corinthians 13 4-8 says that love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. So if we are keeping people from acting in Love, we are hindering the work of God, the movement of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says not to quench or suppress the Holy Spirit and by not allowing another to behave in Love the way we are called to, we’re slowing the progress in ourselves in growing in our faith and we also are hindering the progress of God’s work in the land and among hearts. It we can’t love another, how will they see our light?

They can’t. If we suppress or quench the Holy Spirit, our light becomes difficult to see. You can’t hide your light under a rock, or in a bush, in order for it to be effective it MUST shine! I have love for my friend. I prayed for him because God called me to. Does that mean that we’re going to go rush off and get married? By all means NO! But to have a deeper love for our fellow man is something that is on God’s heart and we should be loving our neighbors as ourselves. If we love ourselves more than we love the people around us, we’re out of balance and something is wrong. Love is in everything, Love is everything and God is Love. Do everything that you do with love because God loves.

Love is the key, and if God is Love and yet God comprises so many more things like Hope and Justice and Grace…How are you holding your key? What doors are you opening?

Blessings,

~Amanda

When the odds are never in your favor

God is always right there inside the impossible odds. Parting of the Red Sea, a man with impossible strength, a shepherd boy who defeated a giant and became King? A boy shunned by his family only to be jailed and then become second to a Pharaoh?

Imagine being Joseph. Having a dream that shows your brothers bowing down to you and suddenly you’re being sold off as a slave. Then you end up in jail because someone’s wife had questionable morals…all the while he’s probably considering his dream and thinking…was I crazy? Was this my imagination? Maybe it wasn’t from God. Then he lands in jail. And he considers his dream and thinks to himself…wow…this prison cell is a LONG way off from what I saw in my dream. I don’t understand. And yet, out of the ashes God created beauty and lifted him up to redeem all of Egypt and it’s surrounding areas.

God places impossible situations with odds that are never in our favor at our feet. It’s not a coincidence, it’s not an accident…It’s Divine Providence. Situations SO OUTLANDISH and beyond our creating or control that we have NO OTHER CHOICE but to lift up our hands and say “Let your will be done in me.”

Imagine Mary. Unmarried and told by an angel that she’s going to have a baby that will be conceived by the Holy Spirit. Imagine being her for a moment. She says yes and the angel is gone and what is she thinking about? What rolls through her head now? Then she thinks about her family and her soon to be husband and her mind races through impossible odds. She birthed Christ as a virgin so he would grow up and redeem an entire people, forwards and backwards through time. And somewhere back in that family line was Rahab. Profession: Harlot.

Gideon’s army is another story of unfavorable odds. And when you’ve been given a message and the odds of them happening are one in a million, or there are too many “what if’s” or there are too many things in the way of the outcome you’ve been shown…know that we serve a Holy God. And yet with only 300 men, Gideon defeated an army of 135,000 men. We serve a God who works best in impossible odds. So that when we win when we should have lost a million times over, we will look up and know that God was there and he did for us what NO MAN could do…and he keeps doing it over and over again.
Matthew 19:26 – But Jesus beheld [them], and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Jeremiah 32:17 – “Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.

The Bible is the greatest Love story I’ve ever read! It’s a story of God repeatedly redeeming families and people from impossible odds and lives not worth living. He’s constantly bringing in the broken and abused and redeeming their story so they will turn and praise him and then turn and be used to light another’s path.

Adam and Eve in the garden.They made a mistake, Adam even lied about it and blamed Eve, while Eve confessed the truth “Hey, the snake told me to eat it, so I ate it.” But was their fatal error a surprise to God? Nope. God wasn’t wrathful and angry. Re-read that in Genesis 3 again…but re-read it with the heart of a heartbroken parent. God didn’t curse them just because. The curse was a byproduct of eating the forbidden fruit. It allowed death to make it’s entrance with which suffering and pain accompanied it. God didn’t do it, WE DID. And so here is the origin of impossible odds. We screwed up. God said…ok. I’ve got to fix this now…first let’s get you dressed. So God performed the first animal sacrifice FOR US so that we could be clothed. Does that sound angry to you? A Holy God sacrificed his creation to cover us…and that story is told again in Jesus except it wasn’t creation he crucified…it was Himself.

John 10:30 – I and the Father are one

Then there’s the Walls of Jericho. Did you know that there is archaeological evidence regarding Jericho that the walls were not torn down but actually PUSHED into the earth?! And the section of wall where Rahab’s (Yep, the prostitute I mentioned earlier) house was protected still stands. Excavations there reveal that its fortifications featured a stone wall 11 feet high and 14 feet wide. At its top was a smooth stone slope, angling upward at 35 degrees for 35 feet, where it joined massive stone walls that towered even higher. It was virtually impregnable.

The book of Joshua is amazing. There’s this people. They’ve been wandering in the desert for 40 years and then they are told to march around Jericho with it’s impenetrable walls once each day for 6 days. And on the 7th day they are to march around it 7 times and shout. Joshua had a heart for God. The plan didn’t make sense. Who defeats a city by marching around it, blowing horns and shouting?? Impossible. But God didn’t want or need their strength. He had plans to defeat the city himself all he wanted were willing hearts to do as He had asked. To overcome the impossible, don’t think, just do as I guide and instruct you. And let ME, the I AM that I AM do that hard work for you! You were never meant to carry this load, this heavy burden! Jericho was already theirs even before they marched around it Joshua 6:2, 16 all God wanted was their faith in action.
http://www.biblearchaeology.org/post/2008/06/The-Walls-of-Jericho.aspx

Joshua believed in God’s promise to give them the city 40 years prior, but the people were afraid. Joshua believed and led the people to a victory against impossible odds.

So when the odds are never in your favor, God has something up his sleeves for you. Trust that he has a plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11) and that God is in the business of redeeming impossible situations and hopeless cases.

Prayer:
Lord,

What I see in the Bible repeatedly is a God who loves us. You. You sacrificed for us, and set Christ on the cross for all peoples, but not all people want to believe. The death of Jesus is a legitimate matter of recorded history, but to us who believe it is vastly more. There are those that think they aren’t good enough, or strong enough, or they are too messed up to be happy. God, speak into their hearts and show them that they are WRONG! You aren’t condemning them, you are reaching out to them so you can pull them under the covering of grace so they will be saved. You want to rescue us from the death we unleashed in the garden, you’re trying to restore things and I pray you would help us see that. So many of us face things in this life that we were never meant to face, we take control when we really should be letting go. God help us to have faith like Joshua, who led the Israelites out of the desert into their promise to claim the land you had for them. Help us to act bravely like Rahab when You tell us to move. May we dance and sing with praises like David, and may we have the strength to face kings like Moses. Where we are weak, you are strong. Though the odds may seem out of control and not in our favor, may we put our trust in you and act accordingly.

Amen.

Blessings,

~Amanda