Growing up I always watched the old school Disney princess movies. My two favorites were Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Last night, my daughter chose the second one to watch. I found myself reciting most of it…
As an adult, I’ve seen so many times that Disney princess movies set unrealistic expectations for marriage and relationship in general…and there’s also the whole talking animal thing too. People say it puts a lot of pressure on each other as a couple and that the most successful relationships have no expectations whatsoever. Which has me thinking…
Definition of expectation:
Hebrews 11:1 ESV
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
How often in scripture are we told to be expectant, to be reliant, to have assurance and trust, hope and CONFIDENCE in the Lord? A lot. I could do the verse footwork, I’ll leave that to you but I’m guessing you know…
So it’s almost like there’s this expectation in the Bible…an expectation that WE are allowed to have over Poppa God. An expectation that He will fulfill what He has spoken to us, an expectation that what He says is ours, is definitely ours. So, if we only do what we see our Father do, isn’t it fair and safe to say that we should have the same blessed assurance, the same expectation inside our relationships and our marriages that we would have a baseline expectation that our needs will be met?
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”
It’s a sacrificial love.
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
There’s an expectation that we are going to treat each other with honor and love, and treat the other as more important than self.
It is here that I find myself extremely privileged. If you read one of my last posts, you will know that the Lord made good on a promise to me, a promise of a Godly husband. But here’s the expectation…In order to get one, I had to also be a Godly wife. The Lord told me once that He only puts “like” things together. I’m seeing this first hand and this love…
In my past marriage I lowered my expectations time and time again, but somehow what was expected of me were raised and I found myself in an imbalance. Doing life sacrificially which became a one sided expectation. The same kindness and dignity, and favor were not extended to me, and as we went along, more things were taken away. When those things are removed, you end up in a slave/master scenario…and even in this, there is an expectation to deliver.
There’s also a careful balance between desire and lust. Desire puts the needs of another before your own…selflessly so. Lust (even in a marriage) says “what can you do for me?” The expectation that the Lord set before us in the sanctity of marriage is the unity of man and woman to stand and be the mirror image of God himself. To be Christs love poured out on our children, our neighbors, our community.
With all that said, I’m just so incredibly grateful for what the Lord has done. The man He had for me is a dang unicorn…men like this just don’t exist…and yet here he is. To have him desire to fully know me, to the core of who I am is just so amazing to me. To see him desire to do for me, the way I gave and never received before is almost shocking. We have the same likes and dislikes in so many ways and when we do have a like/dislike they complement each other. He’s patient with me, he’s kind, not boastful, there’s no envy in him whatsoever and he is the epitome of the Love chapter.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
His voice is like chocolate mousse, smooth and enveloping. His smile brightens my heart. He’s real, he exists…and he’s mine. The Lord said He would perform a ceremony between us and neither of us knew what that would even look like so when he called me at midnight on New Years day, we had no grid for what happened. I don’t remember our conversation, it was so overpowering but I took notes. My notes don’t compare to the burning of the Spirit and the desire that had been put on me for this beautiful man of God. As I went to sleep, still vibrating from the encounter I realized I was connected to him. As I slept I could feel him in my spirit and I knew that we had been soul tied…but I have never experienced a soul tie like this…ever. We were already finishing each others sentences, and wholly on the same page, but now I could sense his heart, his thoughts and we began speaking the heart of Father over each other.
And we realized that the ceremony that Father said He would perform…had been completed.
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
What God has joined together. It’s his doing. Something that He does between two hearts that share space in their destiny scrolls together. So often we put Fathers seal of approval on a spouse of our choosing and we get upset when it doesn’t work out…trust me…been there.
But this time it was His heart that connected us, joined us, married us. I’m looking forward to spending my life with the gift God gave me.
Love you babe