Burning Man

Lately I have been struggling with my emotions. I’ve stepped into a new level of the anointing the Lord has placed on me and my discernment has definitely increased which has caused me to realize…

The emotions I’m feeling are not mine. They are coming from the people that I’m interceding for.

John 11 discusses the death of Lazarus. It’s such an emotional chapter because it’s very clear that Jesus had a deep love for Lazarus, Mary and Martha.  In verse 14, Jesus tells his disciples plainly that Lazarus is dead and yet he speaks in confidence that he is just sleeping and they will be glad that he (Jesus) wasn’t there to make him well.

John 11:32-32

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

Romans 12:15
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Jesus had no reason to be weeping over Lazarus. He LOVED Lazarus yes, but he KNEW that Lazarus was not gone, that he would live again. Then why did he cry? Because he was so connected to and probably interceding for Mary and Martha, he could feel the sorrow that the two women (and his disciples) felt over the loss of such a friend and brother. Jesus could sense their emotions and it affected him.

I had a dream the other night where the Lord showed me this in action. I was confused before this because I was good one day, the next day I felt lonely, the next day bitter and upset with God, the next day I was good. But the Lord has showed me how to control those emotions so they don’t drive me or my day…but they are still there and I puzzled and asked why I was suddenly feeling unbalanced.

So in this dream was me and my future husband.  He frequented a store where the clerk had an attitude. The room was mint green…an herb meaning bitter. He grabbed a few things from this store and I went into this store to  only because he was going there. I stood in line behind him and asked the clerk when it was my turn, “Do you know if he likes me?” and she said “Girl, he don’t like anyone,” and he walked out of the store as if he was the only person there. I was discouraged because I felt so invisible, a reflection of how he felt as well. I began working in a store that had a window across from this green shop so I could watch him, but in the dream I never went back to the store. There were negative voices in this place where I was, and only one voice that was filled with love for me. It was his mother. She had me look out a back window and she said to me (as a train was rushing by) “Is the no crossing sign out? I love that sign, it’s so adorable.”

There are other details in the dream, but this should suffice for the picture I am trying to paint…

I only went into the store because the one that I love goes there. Do you see how the Lord connects us when we are interceding on behalf of the ones we love? And even the ones we may not love? So that we can feel their pain and their joy and intercede for them when they may not be able to intercede for themselves?  At the end of the dream the Lord is asking me to continue to wait on Him for this promise He has given me, but that He has given me a window into the heart of the one I love so I can pray and fast for him strategically.  I know I’m the last person he would expect for a wife from the Lord…but there’s this reason I know who he is, because any work I do now  only strengthens us later and helps me grow into who He is making me to be.

This is all a part of loving your neighbor as yourself. Anything we do in the Lord for our fellow man is returned to us. Luke 6:38 says

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

This is a part of that! Whatever I invest into my husband now to help his growth and transformation will only benefit me in the long run. Not that I’m trying to be selfish, but because I’m being selfless and giving of my time to someone who knows me not. If we can give like that to the people we love and transform their lives, how much more the people who hate us? The people who have hurt us? What are the leaps and bounds that can be given in prayer to those who are against us?! Our enemy can become our friend in prayer! And then we too can discern the condition of their spirit and pray accordingly! We have been given a gift to have the opportunity to bear the burdens of others, just like Jesus is our Great Burden Bearer. We carry for others who don’t know how to offload their hearts cries, because we know how to offload our own and those of others to the Big Daddy.

We can only do what we have seen our Father do.

Now what if this burden bearing goes both ways? What if it’s a two way street? What if our own emotions carry back down to those we are interceding for? Is it possible? I think so. It’s why we are called to capture every thought (2 Corinthians 10:5) and put it in submission to Christ. We can’t carry it all alone. We aren’t supposed to. We should burn with the fire of God for those we love.

Lighten your load dear heart ❤