God Speaks

I love hearing from Him. 

It’s almost like a soft fall breeze rustling in my ears, blowing colorful leaves across my heart as I breathe in the cooling air as it caresses my face.

“I love you, and I give this to you because I do.”

It’s a heart he gives, because I asked. God said, “Ask and you shall receive,” so I said yes Lord, one just like it…and He said, “Why not that one?”

Um…because…well…Okay Lord, may I please have that one. Because a heart so real and so raw and so true is one in a million. So rare that the blood from its rent state spills to the floor in sacrifice like tears from a grateful soul.

Tears in turn that water the ground around and life springs from this living well of joy and love and becomes the beginnings of a river that waters a dry and thirsty land. 

Hearts like that are only found when they rest in its Makers hands…a soul sold out for the Lord. 

Eight months of this “pregnancy” and I’m dying for labor pains. Six days and six years, yet 88 days and 111 after that. Gematria reads King and bear and good, yet it’s in your hands so we know it is good. The fortune cookie that says “Storms make oaks take deeper root” and salt and Chinese symbols that look strangely like the things You and I have been discussing. 

You said I was like Abigail. A life of pain and weariness, of heartache and tears, but you took those tears, those ashes and brought a Phoenix out of what looked like an early grave…and out of the ashes we rise. 

Yesterday you mentioned the name David, and recalled Abigail, and yet again today you spoke. King, bear, good. Green, red, yellow. 66, 88, 111. I asked for a timeline and I got it. There’s a burden that comes along with this gift…the joyful (and sometimes apprehensive) wait of things to come. 

Counting down the days that I can share my surrender…with surrendered.

Thank you Father for giving me your best.