In these small hours…

“Little Wonders”

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don’t you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don’t mind
If it’s me you need to turn to
We’ll get by,
It’s the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain

~Rob Thomas

When I listened to secular music, Matchbox 20 was it for me among few others. It’s been a very long time since I have listened to them but this song…every time I hear it, I find cause to praise God. I didn’t hear it this time but rather I heard it in my heart. This week for Thanksgiving I found I had a lot to be thankful for. New friends and while communing with them over pie and Settlers of Katan I realized the divine purpose set before me. As I spoke out words that were on my heart I felt like a few divine puzzle pieces clicked for me. My long distance friend Mandi sent me something the other day that said something like if your dreams with God aren’t impossible then you aren’t dreaming big enough.

I questioned shorter than a week ago what my dreams were and I realized I didn’t know. I knew that so many things in my life had led to this place and I still didn’t know why I was here. I know now.

The Acts churches were all in. They lived life together, they put in everything they had, left their families and joined their new family in the body of the Church.

To want something bad enough you have to lack it and you also have to know what you’re missing. But the devil will always put in a fake in place of the real deal to try and trick you. And something I also learned recently was that even though God promises you something it doesn’t mean it’s a hand-out. Sometimes you have to create the conditions. Honestly I feel like Moses about to embark on a task that is far above my head. But of course God in His infinite greatness and humor would send an introvert to help create unity and start a church family that looks like the Acts churches. Oh and don’t be mistaken, I might feel like Moses (horribly unqualified and out of place) but I’m not doing this by myself nor can I take credit for what God has laid on my heart. I can see that He is bringing people to the round table. That’s how family starts. People around a table doing life together and somehow along the way a family is birthed and chairs need to be added.

Our church foundations were created out of a bond among believers. We literally carried the burdens of our family and yet somehow along the way from then til now we drizzled our caramel sauce out on the road and when we got to the real party we had nothing to bless our ice cream with.

A dream I once had when I was a little girl has always seemed to circle back around in my mind. This dream is how I realized that I’ve been having “God dreams” from a very young age. In the dream, my mom and I were driving in her car dubbed “Slimer”, we drove past BoBo’s which was a bar with a clown as their mascot and as we drove past it our road turned into a freeway on-ramp and we were driving up a hill and the amber street lights got more frequent as we reached the top and center. It was “the place where all the freeways meet” I recall telling my mom as I retold a vision of a spiderweb of roads all meeting in one place above the treetops, but not too far above. I was divinely reminded of that dream on my way home on Thanksgiving. Unity. That was the message of the dream.  You would think the thought of thousands of cars driving to one central place would result in some head on collisions, but there were none. In the same fashion as my other dreams there were more and more cars driving up these hills/ramps and at the top there were thousands of cars, but yet more were still coming up.

How can we come together? There are wolves in our flock and we don’t notice them because we are too spread out! If we were closer and unified we could see them! But all we do is wave in passing. Ships in the night.

And as I spoke at that table over pie and a Theif on a 7 stealing my grain, I realized that’s us. We are letting the enemy steal from us by not being unified against our enemy. In our game we came together to protect against the Theif, we need to be doing the same in real life.

It doesn’t feel like something I’m qualified to do. In fact it feels downright scary after the heartbreak I went through this year, but God loves it when our odds range in the impossible. He prefers us to feel unqualified, because we can do ALL things through Christ!




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